Pay It Forward- My Story!

I learned a very valuable lesson a few years back and I want to share it with you as it was an "experiment" that changed who I was and certainly how I was feeling at that time. I was depressed and feeling as if the whole world had screwed me over. It was a month past me finding out about my husbands affair and a time of huge uncertainty for my marriage and family. What I really wanted to do at that time was crawl under my blankets and make the world disappear. We lived in a small town, everyone knew before me. I felt like such a fool, I was so ashamed. How will people look at me now? Is this what all those sympathetic head tilts had been about? Were they walking away thinking "that poor fool has no idea, how could anyone be so blind?"

One day as I sat in front of my computer, frantically searching for yet another article on "how to cope with Infidelity" I accidentally came across a website called "Helping Others" It was a site which promoted random, anonymous acts of kindness (www.helpingothers.org). Just what I needed, I was immediately "in". I figured if I was feeling this low and negative that my only hope of forgiving the world, was helping the world. All of these people who gossiped, frowned and talked behind my back...well, I was going to show them that I was stronger than their stares and whispers. I would secretly "kill them with kindness". I would show them the world could be a better place full of love and compassion for others. Most importantly, I was going to "teach" them how to be compassionate by showing them how it's done.

I ordered my "smile cards", got out a notebook to fill with ideas and patiently waited for the mail to arrive. When the cards arrived, I pulled myself out of despair, threw on a ball cap and headed directly for the Tim's drive-thru. I ordered my coffee, paid and proudly announced that I would like to pay for the order of the person behind me. I then instructed the drive-thru attendant to inform them that their order was paid in advance and the person who paid only asked that they receive this card and "Pay It Forward". I felt so good after doing this, it was so nice to forget my pain for a little while and ponder about the reaction of the people behind me. I continued with my acts of kindness... I sent flowers anonymously to an old neighbour, who had strong influence over me in my childhood. Later that week, I found out that she had just discovered her husband had an affair days before receiving my flowers. When she found out the weren't from him, I heard she wondered who thought of her so deeply and in such a time of need. I hear that it made her cry that someone loved her so much as to send flowers at a time of such pain (I have no idea why I choose her at that time but was amazed by how it all turned out) Another thing I did was leave my son's bike he had grown out of on the front lawn of a less advantaged family, with a smile card taped to the seat. I often saw their little boy riding around the neighbourhood with a smile from ear to ear. God, it all felt so rewarding! I was so thankful for this lesson in human kindness.

My point, when you are feeling down, when you feel hopeless and alone - reach out and help someone! Believe me, there is no greater distraction from pain and suffering as helping a fellow human. Knowing you are doing something without acknowledgment or reward is so unselfish and so fulfilling. It will change you! It will forever change them! Be the change you want to see in the world. Take time to smell the flowers, take time to open a door, assist an elderly person...remember to say please and thank you and to show gratitude towards others. I promise you, your view of the world will change, your mood will lift, your heart will skip a beat. I put a total of 20 smile cards out into the world. I hope they are still being "passed on". I make it a part of my daily life to do one kind thing for another person. It doesn't have to be something big, a simple "have a great day before exiting an elevator" can change a persons entire day. It was only this morning that my son called back "bye, have a nice day" to an elderly man who was in the elevator with us. My soul smiled because I saw first hand how children lead by example. I am so proud to be raising a child who understand the concept of "Pay It Forward." Thank you for reading, now get out there and change the world, one smile card or random act of kindness at a time.