My Child has a Learning Disability

I heard these words today and even though I suspected they might be looming just around the corner, they still had the ability to crush me emotionally. So many questions, so many worries and fears. What does this mean for my boy, for his education, for his quality of life? Normally in a situation like this when presented with something unfamiliar, I would be spending every spare minute googling the subject and finding out everything I could. I didn't do that this time, instead I gave into my fears and uncertainties by curling up into a little ball on the couch. I am strangely thankful at this moment that shock and sadness has kept my "searching" at bay, at least for now. Why? Well because I realized something as I was laying on my couch crying, actually I had a couple of realizations: The first being that I have no idea about what exactly having a learning disability means. Also, that I am probably like most other uneducated people (on the subject) and somewhat ignorant and judgemental about the label. I'm ashamed!

Yes, I am going to learn everything I can about my sons learning disability. I am going to move mountains, heaven and even earth to ensure that he gets everything he needs to succeed in life. I have no idea what I'm facing! I hear the phrase "learning disability" and the word "hopeless" comes to mind. Please don't judge me, I suspect many others don't understand what it means to be learning disabled, it can't just be me. I do know there are different types of learning disabilities, I know there are varying degrees of it. I also know that some of the most brilliant, inventive and creative minds in our world have/had learning disabilities. What I don't know at this point is if my son will be one of the success stories or one of the sad statistics. You know the drill: bad kid, troubled kid, school drop out, life of crime, drug abuser... why did those kids lose their way? What can I do to make him a success story? What will people say about him? Is my baby forever changed by this new label, is he doomed for a life of isolation and pain? Let me tell you a little about him...

He is ten years old and in grade five, I have just been informed that he is reading at a grade one level. How is this possible? We read at home, teachers have only ever said "he's a bit behind, he struggles a bit with reading" This is shocking! How does something like this get overlooked for four years? I feel so sorry for him, sorry for the struggles he will face and I wonder why him? Why this amazing kid, he is seriously the most mannerly, kind, thoughtful child you will ever meet. He has never been disruptive, disrespectful or disliked by any child or adult he has interacted with. I have had every teacher he has ever had pull me aside at some point to tell me what an amazing, kind child he is. He has impressed everyone. As a matter of fact, his grade three teacher called me at work one day in tears, there was something she needed to tell me. All the kids came to school that day with money for the book fair, except one little boy who was from a poor family. All the children went to the library to look at the books, posters and cool little pencils and erasers and to make their purchases. Every child came back to the classroom with something except for my son. His teacher knew he had $20 in his pocket and we both knew how badly he wanted a certain Pokemon poster (it's all he talked about for days) so she was confused at why he had come back to the classroom with nothing. She asked him to join her in the hallway so she could see what was going on. My little guy told her that he used his money on two books, a poster and one eraser for Liam.. The teacher asked him if Liam bullied him into giving him his money (he was known as a bit of a bully). This is how my son responded: " Ms P, Liam comes to school some days with torn clothes and not very much in his lunch box so I think that maybe Liams mom doesn't have very much money, I told Liam he could pick out whatever he wanted and I would buy it for him." I'm telling you, my son is amazing! The teacher called to share this and to ask if I had a problem with the situation and wanted the money returned to my son. I said no of course! I have spent the years up until now teaching my son to show kindness to others and $20 is a very small price to pay to know he understood the lesson. I had never felt so proud!

But back to the purpose of this: I wanted to do a "Part One" to point out how judgemental we can be towards others who are different. I wanted to make myself aware of how uneducated I am about learning disabilities. I also want to document the journey of me learning, sharing and breaking some of the myths surrounding children with disabilities. I want more than anything to refer back to this one day and be able to say "look how far he has come, look how far I've come". At this very moment I know nothing about this issue but I will learn everything I need to learn so I can be a rock for my son. I have an appointment Thursday with the psychologists and school staff at which time I will get all the details of what my son is facing and what tools he will need to succeed.

This was very difficult to write but I refuse to feel shame or embarrassment and I am certainly not willing to believe that he is any less important than a person who learns the" traditional" way. This is the time to throw away all my perceptions about learning disabilities and to make a promise to myself and my child that we will face what ever comes together and that everything is going to be okay. It's going to be okay, right?